We are moving to this new site :

http://jjzzj.wordpress.com/

Yah …. baby’s name doesn’t start with “L”.

See you at the new site. However, I won’t be blogging that soon. Need some time to recuperate. Have been having sleepless nights. Needless to say.

It’s usually when we don’t have, we will treasure.

It’s always taken for granted, when we have.

Read a few threads of discussion on the parenting forum I am in. It nigs me to read on parents training and stretching the academic performances in their children. To go for GEP, DSA, IB, through train etc. It irks me even further to read about parents being annoyed and can’t stand the verbal squabbles between their children (like kid A complains kid B takes her things and kid B complains kid A kicks her etc?).

If these parents ever pause and think; if they have the opportunity to look around them and encounter other pairs of siblings who will never have the chance to squabble at each other or the basic chance of having a national elementary education, I hope their mouths will shut and their hearts will flow with thankfulness.

I’ve disciplined my eyes not to read those threads further, lest my fingers decide to speak up via a loud speaker and shoot some cyber bombs.

Com’on parents, give thanks, love your children and all their normalcies! Your world is almost perfect and beautiful. My daughter is still waiting for her brother to have a conversation or squabble with her. I’m still waiting for a school to accept my son… and I’m talking about any special school here, he can’t even qualify for basic national educational institutes here.

Be contented.

I wrote this in MY BLOG as it is MY SPACE and no one can tell me I AM WRONG.

It is not sour grapes. It is just that humans are never contented. You have a special kid, you wish he is normal (that’s me). You have a normal kid, you wish he has special talent or is gifted. When you have a kid who can’t talk, you wish the day will come when you hear him pick a verbal war with someone, just anyone. But when you have a kid who is articulate, you wish he just shut up and just be quiet and nice to everyone.

And know something?

You can’t stone me for saying all these, unless you manage to walk in my shoes for … maybe … a week? I’m sure you will go back to your own kids and kiss their feet a hundred times. Really.

All this while, we’ve been expecting Baby Lecia’s arrival. Since the day we know that we were most probably having a girl during the 20th weeks’ scan, we had been preparing as though we were having a girl. All the hand-me-downs, especially the clothes, are all meant for girls.

In the Operating Theatre, at close to 8am, when baby was out, the anaesthetist announced this, “Congratulations! It’s a boy!!!”

My first reaction?

“Hur?? Don’t kid me, it’s a girl, right?”

“No, it’s a boy! See, boy!” You know what we were shown right?

“Dr L, you told us it’s going to be a girl?!”, we gasped.

“Now, we have no clothes for him, all pink tops and dresses! Hahaha !!!”

I added with, “Now, Dr L, you’ve gotta sponsor my son’s clothes for his first month!” kekeke ….

So, this blog’s life may end soon. I may start a new one if the baby’s name is not going to be a boy’s name beginning with letter “L”.

We are taking our time to choose a name for baby. A name is important. We want one which has a good, biblical meaning and easy for our Chinese-educated parents to call. So names like Leonardo, Leonard, etc are out. Hahaha ….

Anyone has any good meaning names to suggest?

Btw, many of my friends said this of the baby, “Hey, young chap, good hiding there!”

Ya boy, he really caught us by surprise! Still, we are falling in love with him. :X

Zane was unwell on Wednesday. He kept vomitting. Took him to the doc on Thursday. He is better by today except for the running nose and cough. However, we think he spreaded the virus to Zoe. Zoe vomitted thrice last night. Taking her to the doctor now. I hope she will recover fast too.

Haiz… this is so untimely.

Zane is a problem solving child. What he wants to get, he will come up with solutions to his obstacles.

This morning, he went into the bathroom. I had to lock the tap since he already figured out how to turn it on and he will play endlessly with it. I guess he wanted to retrieve the key to open the tap. Josh thinks he may want to get the scissors to cut his hair himself.

Whichever is the item he was eyeing, he brought a chair along, climbed up to the basin and before he could reach what he wanted to get, the wall mirror came tumbling down!

The amazing thing happened!. Only the mirror frame cracked and broke, the mirror remained intact. I can only testify it is the work of God, the Hand of His protection upon this child. Can you imagine the mirror fragments all over the floor and he will sure get down and come out of the toilet in panic, thus hurting his feet?

All these happened just minutes before I stepped into the house.

This I give thanks.

Did I scold him? No. He was just trying to solve his problem. It is not mischief. If he wanted the key, it is to on the tap and wash the floor as he had urinated on it. If he wanted the scissors, it is to have a diy haircut as he is very fearful of haircut.

I know it is God’s intervention. Given the weight of the mirror, it is impossible that it did not break.

This is a miracle.

Though Zane doesn’t understands now, I believe one day, when wholeness is restored unto him, he will like what I’m doing now – give thanks.

His name means : Thanksgiving for His Grace

Since we never expect to have number 3, when Zane was a tot, I started giving, throwing or selling away the infant stuffs. When he got older, we gave more things away too, along with Zoe’s. When we confirmed that there is going to be another babe in the house, in my heart, I went “Oh no, we have nothing left!”

Cot

We sold ours at a dirt cheap price to a couple we do not know when Zane ceased sleeping in it.

Given – by D generously. It’s more like a playpen, which will last longer. It is compact and mobile and is more practical than a cot.

This is heavy item one. A look at the nursery department in the malls and you will know it cost at least $500 for a cot now, with all the beddings and such. And that is if you are not fussy.

Stroller

Ours were worn out. If I remember correctly, we threw them. Maybe the second one we gave it away since Zane didn’t really like the stroller as much as its wheels (and you can’t wheel a tot who is constantly holding and touching the wheels, can you?). I remembered Josh had to carry Zane for the longest time of his tot life. Zoe was the contented one.

Given – by D. That is more for outing with the babe. By L too. That is a heavy duty one, more for daily use to the market. Thus I need not worry about wear and tear.

Infant clothes

All given away and the very old ones were thrown away.

Given – at my last count, I think people have given more than I had given away. I have this feeling that Lecia may not be able to wear them all before she outgrows them, just too many. Just caps alone, there are more than ten of them. Socks alone? Countless. Same for booties. Wow …. We know that eventually we will always be wearing the same old, comfy, most practical clothes. Thus, I need to consciously make the effort to dress the babe in the more frilly ones.

Sterilizer

Given that to my ex-classmate.

Given – by L. And it is as good as brand new. We can never outgive God, it seems.

Car Seat and Bath Tub

These two items dropped from the sky, we call it. These were the two final items we need to get for Lecia. We see them as blessings. Unthinkable how they landed on our lap.

Sling

I loaned mine to a friend. She never returned it, even her babe is now coming 4?

D loaned me hers. Rest assured, I will return it, kekeke …. anyway, knowing that my kids are heavy weight champs type, I doubt I can sling the babe for long. I remember for both Zs, once they were over 12kg, it got very tough on the shoulder and back.

New born diapers

Zane’s first therapist, she collected so many, so many S size diaper samples that they were enough to fill a laundry basket. They can easily last for a couple of months. That is great savings. Ask me if I wanna go through the fuss of cloth diapering? Nope. Unless the babe’s bum is ultra sensitive to the diapers.

Not to forget the materinity clothes which I had mentioned before, thus I won’t repeat again.

All these added up, we have saved a lot. Am very thankful for all these blessings from God via good friends. The TMC stay alone will be hefty. Plus the confinement expenses. Josh’s company gives out bonuses in Mar/ April, not year end and we really need to trust God to help us through. Amen.

This pregnancy has once again shown to me the favour of God and men.

For the longest time in my life, I thought I was forsaken or at least left for good to have my faith tested for the longest duration the tester deems fit (like Joseph when he was in jail?) .

Somehow the things that people do or say to me this year have continuously illuminate the goodness of God once more.

My in laws.

I know they are very happy to have another grandchild.

My father-in-law gladly helped me in minding Zoe or Zane when I had to do parent volunteer work or bring either one to see the doctors. He also faithfully ferried Zane to and fro his school during my last trimester. He loved being able to see Zane’s progress as he got to see him weekly. He got himself familiar with Zane’s habits and non-verbal cues and he is happy that he can take care of him. A few ocassions, he even helped Zane clean up after he had pooed. Imagine a 60+ yo man doing that for a 6yo? I think he might not have even done any of this for his own children.

My mum-in-law, I know she saved up to buy the bird nest. Though she said those were for Lecia, I know she cares for me. She is also very concerned that I have to go through another caesarean section. She made good soup and yummy desserts any other week. Not once she said no when I needed hers or fil’s help. She even reminded me not to be shy to ask.

My family.

My mum who stayed with me for some weeks. She helped around the house so much that I felt so bad. She did a lot of thorough cleaning for me. I’m very grateful for all that she had done. She also looked after the kids very well and that gave Josh and I more opportunities to spend time alone. Her stay was timely.

My brother and his wife are generous. She graciously loaned me her maternity clothes to tie me through the last trimester and the initial months of delivery. They have also given us some other items which may not be useful and we will politely return them later in the year. Still, they love me. And I thank God for them.

Friends.

There is OL.

She dropped by a few ocassions with stuffs. The most pleasant surprise was the durians! She is one faithful friend. After so many years, she still makes efforts to keep in contact. She may not know it, but in my downest moment, she wrote me a letter which helped me so much to move on. Com’on, in this time and age, who else handwrite a letter and in Chinese somemore?! Being brave in facing the future can be achieved. What more when we have Christ in our boat?

There is D.

I have shared about her in one of my recent entries. She has done more than all that. What touches me most about D is that she loves my children and embraces them with understanding and care. She goes into every detail just to ensure that each of us is comfortable at her place. My boy has grown to love her. I can tell from the way he behaves at her place. He was so at home. No fuss…….. until we had to go home.

http://joshjesselynzoezane.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!FBE6BE7B6B0468C9!431.entry

This is one friend who treasures friendships and makes effort in keeping them. And we found each other in the net! Can you believe it?! Though we do lament how the friendships formed with our other e-friends can fade off through time, we never let that get into us. We try to meet up as regularly as we can. And I know, she will sure come and see Lecia next month. Right, my dear?

There is S.

Though I have left E eons ago, she is one of the very few who keeps constant tabs on me. I don’t know what I have done to deserve such affection from her. She goes through many miles for my son. She tries to learn more about this disablity and finds out more from her colleague on my behalf. Through that, there have been recommendations. I think she also knows cost will be a big constraint. God will help us find alternatives for Zane. Don’t worry, my dear. Your friend here is like a cactus.

There is a younger S.

Once she knew about the pregnancy, she wanted to be the baby’s godma. That was even before she knew if it’ll be a godson or goddaughter. Now that she is so looking forward to Lecia’s arrival (think she is happy it’s a girl, many more pretty things to buy) , I am sure she will heaps pressies upon pressies on her and she told me beforehand that I am not suppose to interfere, lest oppose. They share the same birth month, which I always think is the best month to celebrate one’s birthday. Like S always says, the whole month is her birthday. I think it will be so for Lecia too. Ha . I wonder how will it be like when S sees Lecia next week. It’s next week, my dear!! Next week!! Wow !!!

Among my friends, she is the youngest in terms of the ‘age’ of the friendship but somehow we share a very special and unique bond. We did not instantly like each other. But once the friendship took off, we are very comfortable with each other and we share honestly to each other our thoughts on matters which matter to us. It is like we’ve known each other for a long long time. I know she will be one whom I will love for a long long time. Though I’m a decade older than her, honestly we don’t feel any generation gap. It is also through her, many misperceptions about her folks were cleared. That I am thankful.

There is J.

She is one friend I can count on. I know it is by divine appointment that we would get acquainted in PB. We actually just stay a couple of blocks away from each other. She is also one who is she-is-what-you-see. She is very real, very passionate and very giving. I am happy that she is happy to rivert back to Kindergarten teaching calendar. I think her children like it this way too. Mums always want to be home when the kids are at home, don’t they, working mums? She has helped me a lot and she graciously agreed to help me this couple of weeks with the kids and their food when I need to see my gynae or deliver. Thank you, dear J.

From PB, I also get to know another J and R. They are also very lovely ladies. They offer very good and tested advice. We always make it a point to meet up every holiday since we left PB and I know next month we’ll meet again.

There is A.

She is one lady who has helped me for the longest time. I never know how can I be a blessing back to her. She was there when I was down and alone. She helped me through my most helpless times. She encouraged and she shared the burden. She prayed and believed God for me (my faith was near nil then). She always bring me back to the fountain. I know if she can, she will force my mouth open and drain the fountain of life into me. Yet, she also knows, that is the best she can do and the rest is between God and I. She portrays such maturity. She is one of the very few Christian friends whom I don’t find preachy or forceful. She is sensitive. She is fair. She is compassionate. She is also loving. All in the right ways. She is such a lovely creation of God. She is one whom you will say, “Yes, I do see a fine Christian on this planet earth. Look, she is one.”

I know there are some more lovely souls who have been a blessing. When I have “collected” enough, I may write a part two.

All these show me, even though I am a stay home mum this year, I am still remembered by friends. I recall that my previous sahm stint was greeted with much loneliness or even abandonment, if I can use that term. It was like all my friends left me to do my stuffs. That was also why I turned to forums and chat rooms (for mamas) and found some really good friends. Those were friends for the season. We are still friends now, no doubt. But it has been different since our common ground (the chat room) was removed.

Still, God is good. He favours His beloved. I am encouraged to know that I am still His beloved.

We’ll be proud parents to our little addition!

Yes, we can’t imagine how it’ll be like. We are also not fully 100% mentally prepared. But I guess, next week this time, we will, slowly and surely.

True, another round of baby caring. Another round of sleepless nights. Another round of tender nurturing. But we know, it will be a very different dimension and feel this time.

Parents to 3 ??? Never thought of that. This babe is bestowed and heaven-sent. There must be a great purpose for her to be here. We will wait for heaven’s richest blessings unfold for her, in her life and through her life.

Help me not to fear.

Bring me through the OT’s procedures safely, Lord.

This entry is for a very dear friend.

Last night, Josh assembled the cot given by D. After he was done, he stood in amazement that this friend of his wife is so generous.

“She loves you very much as a friend, doesn’t she?”

“She is a good woman.”

These were what he uttered. He was even most appreciative that the cot is so compact that we can even bring it along for holidays like hotel stays. That will save $50-80 for renting the hotel’s cot.

Going through the clothes she passed to Lecia also made me smile and give thanks again. Lecia can easily have a monthly fashion show at home, ha …

This weekend will be getting the mattress and covers, washing the S sizes of the clothings, pack the baby stuffs. And oh yes, that reminds me, the baby bath tub.

It is unbelievable that we are just ten days away from Lecia’s arrival. Excited, of course and yet at the same time apprehensive. True, medical care in Singapore is tip top and nothing is left to chance or negligence. My gynae was also most assuring that though this is my third caesarean section, it will be safe definitely (He has performed up till 6 caesarean sections for one of his patients).

By the way, I dreamt of Dr L making it back in time to deliver Lecia. In the dream, Lecia has very small mouth and a very dainty look. We’ll wait and see.

Ten more days.

Ten days more.

How many more days? Ten.

Ya.

One to One Outing With Zoe

Last Tuesday was Zane’s one to one outing with me. Thursday was Zoe’s turn. It was hard convincing her to miss school. Furthermore, her teacher told her that she had to be in school. My guess is maybe she had a little something for all the kids.

Told Zoe all the reasons that she should miss school and she finally relented :

1. I’ve already booked the tickets for Madagascar 2. They cost $15, already paid for.

2. It is easier to go to the movies without Zane.

3. It is Zane’s last school day and the only chance we can go out one to one before baby is here.

Guess which reason was the strongest to nudge her to budge? The $15. Hahaha

The Movie : MAdAgAscAr Escape 2 Africa

To me, this movie is better than Part one. It has more flavour. It brings out family love and friendship very well.

A few things struck me :

A. Alex, though a lion, has never been like a real lion. He is a performer, not a fighter, not a predator. Much less the King of the jungle. He never really fought, he dances. In fact, all through his life, he dances, yup, ever since he was a cub. His father’s effort in teaching him to fight was futile. Alex is like a special kid in that very sense. And, my son is special too.

B. Between friends, it is not always “me and my problems”. This was portrayed very well by Marty and Alex. It was a sobering thought for Alex when Marty rebuked him that it was always about him and his problems and not his friends or their problems. Alex couldn’t even tell that Marty was going through some identity crisis himself, he was too absorbed over his own problems. He even rebutted Marty that it was just that “my problem is a little bit BIGGER than yours”.

This brings to mind that ten over years back, when I met my good friend, she was extra quiet and I didn’t probe. I was absorbed in my then problem. She still listened to my problem, which was like hers, a relationship problem, but of a much smaller magnitude. Much later, when I knew what was on her mind then, I really wanted to slap myself. Mine was just a “to break or not to break” with the wrong guy, hers was to abort or not the little life she had with her wrong guy. She eventually decided to abort it, and it was on my birthday. Small wonder that she chose to celebrate my birthday with me the day before and not the actual day. I was so Alex then.

C. Alex, in his specialness, used what he knew best to get himself (and his dad) out of a death trap. He danced instead of fought his aggressors. That dance proved to the New Yorkers that he was their lion in their city zoo and thus spared. Zane too, in his specialness, he will use what he knows to get what he needs or wants.

We have a bag of colourful balls tucked way up in the top shelf in our store room. Those of you who have been to my flat know that we live on the top floor and our ceiling is very high, maybe more than 2m. My dear son has been eyeing those balls for a long time. Yesterday, he finally scaled the other items in front of the shelf, got to the top (amazing that he didn’t tumble off) by stepping on every object that he thought could get him there, pulled the bag (which is bigger than him) down and ta-da…. he got the colourful balls! He was so delighted at his achievement. I must agree that this is no stunt that any other 6yo will do. And we know, our son will not stop until the whole bag of balls is emptied. Ha ….

D. The last thing which struck me in the movie is to love someone as who she/ he is. The way Melman loves Gloria was touching. To him, her laughter is the most beautiful and music to his ears. His daily purpose in life is to make her feel happy and loved. Of course, to others, her laughter is ……. ear-twitching ….. hee …. Gloria said something like “It is crazy to travel around half the world to find out that the only one who loves me as who I am just lives next door to me all these years!”.

Chert and I too, travelled in a big circle for some years before finidng each other again. Am thankful, we still find each other. Like he said, that only time when I called him on his house phone was one of the rare times he was home by then. If that was missed, it would be a miss forever. And maybe, now, I am still a Miss Liau.

Changi Airport

This place remains a favourite choice for my family to unwind. It is more for Zane. When I am not up to it, we won’t go. But I try. Zane was contented just skirting around the fountain. He didn’t go to all his stations that night. Phew!

It was lovely to just sit and read with Zoe. She is such a lovely child. Of course I teased her for bringing her school bag out and not her outing bag. If not, we would be playing games. She is older and more shy about being teased. She did beg me not to tell daddy, lest he laughed out loud.

Zoe’s teacher wrote in her progress book that she is an avid reader and posseses a wide knowledge on many different subjects. She contributes constructively in class discussions and is a detailed writer in her journal-writing. After some calculators, I realised that her teachers gave her full scores for all the other areas which were tested for the exams, like the Show and Tell, Oral, Creative writing etc .

36th Week Gynae Visit

Lecia was 36 weeks old when we went to see Dr L last Friday. He packed his schedule as he wanted to see all his patients who are due in Dec that day. It was a long wait to see him. Can tell that he tried to be fast. He did what he should, checked the cervix and told me that Lecia’s head is still way up so the chance for early labour will be slim. He will be very surprise if she does come early. He chuckled when I told her Lecia will sure wait for him to be back.

He is so professional. He wants to see me the day he comes back. He scheduled me on for that afternoon. I teased him and asked him won’t he be too groggy. He told me to find out that day.

The confinement issue is still on hold. The documents did not reach us last week. Today, in laws are making a trip up to Kluang to get aunt’s IDs. Then actually someone has to get the approval letter up to aunt so that she can come through the Immigration next Sunday. I know my in laws will be willing to make another trip if need be but will we be in time?

I honestly feel with her around it is easier for me to rest in the day. I won’t want mil to be bogged down by the cooking. The house will definitely be cleaner and less messy (for my sanity’s sake, since I can’t bend over to pick up after Zane due to the wound). Who’s going to do the washing, which has to be washed in separate loads or even hand-washed? Can’t be Josh or his mum right?

I remember what D told me. If for her, via natural birth and it had been very tough for her to manage alone, lest talk about me, when one kid is a special one and always on the go. Even if Josh is around the first two weeks, I know, by the fifth day, he may be too frustrated over Zane. This is because Zane is really an energizer bunny. Plus Zane is very insistent when it comes to making requests to daddy. I’m sure Josh will be worn out, so I rather not take the risk. Period. Even if aunt has to come late, so be it. I don’t want to risk my health, both physical and mental. I know Josh has yet to see it can be very tough keeping up with two kids and the house at the same time, plus a not very mobile wife. Not to forget sleepless nights and baby caring.

Coconut Juice

This is my latest favourite and the best place to get this is Redhill Market. Been there twice within a week. Josh even asked if I wanna ta-bao. I’ve no confident he knows how to open the coconuts so I gave his offer a miss. Then he added that he will not drive there to get me the coconuts when I want them. Nah …. am sure he will do it, hahaha …. very sure. Well, surely he wants Lecia to have nice complexion, kekeke . I know he loves me enough to do it. Ha …

Book Fair

We brought Zane for a quick buy on Sunday after church. He was so happy to see his favourite ABC cards on sale. I was so tempted to get the whole series on Clifford again. Com’on it is going at $10.90 a box! It was usually $20, if not $24.90 at Kinokuniya or Forum! I think Josh is making another trip to get more ABC cards. The letters are printed on both sides, so what Zane did was to peel off one side’s letter. He was disappointed that the peeled off letters aren’t sturdy, in fact, they curl up. Thus he was unable to line them in sequence or spell out his favourite words.

My miss

I missed meeting my current favourite author Neil Humphreys when he was in town to promote his new book “Be my baby”! I read his book within two days! He is such an interesting writer. Such a dear husband and I believe definitely a great father to his baby. I’m pretty sure he will write about his fatherhood journey with his little babe now. I’ll wait … Each time I walk past his other books (Book 1 and 2 about Singapore), I have this urge to just buy them. However, I will abort the idea within seconds.

Hmmmmm …… maybe I can say out loud here …..

“What I want for Christmas is ….. my two Humphreys’ ….”

Hahahaha ……..

First day of holiday

Nothing eventful. It was a stay at home day yesterday. Played Monopoly and Line up 4 with Zoe whole morning. Poor kids. My feet’s getting more swollen and having more leg cramps in the nights now. Can’t wait for all these to be over. 12 more days…. yippee !!!

Today?

We”ll see…. I’ve enough food supply to last through the day and I need not step out of the house. But my poor babes are collecting spider webs all around them already.